whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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