Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
