while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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