my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
