So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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