I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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