dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
