i think i have herpe
just one?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We left the knife in your bed.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
