Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize