I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
