it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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