What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
