Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize