Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
