Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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