that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
