Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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