i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
