would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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