hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
