The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
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Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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