I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
This is classic penis vs brain.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
