All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
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at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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