How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm at about main and main street
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
