her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
