Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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