I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sponge bath it is.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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