there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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