The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
