Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
