Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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