umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
operation harelip BJ is a go
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
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I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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