She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
