I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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