i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize