my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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