people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
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I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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