But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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