yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
