Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
