Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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