he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
