You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
