so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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