You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
