Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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