Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
