can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
