found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
