Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
