A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
