apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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