Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
