that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning