Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.