you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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