oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song