You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
