If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
