just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
