you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
