so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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